When I was young, I buried my grief deep within, while my heart ached for comfort and understanding. My mother, lost in her own heartbreak, had little left to offer my hurting soul. In those lonely moments, how longed for a gentle voice to reassure me that I wasn’t invisible.

As adults we no longer have to suppress our immense grief.  We no longer have to hide or carry the weight in silence. Finally, we can honor our need to speak the truths we once dared not utter.

One of the most healing rituals I’ve discovered is to sit quietly, close my eyes, and reach back in time to cradle my seven-year-old self—the little Hissi, who was small and terrified, whose world was shattered when Daddy left this earth. In that sacred space, I hold her close, whispering the words she so desperately needed to hear:

“Dear little one, my heart aches for all you have endured—the confusion, the sorrow, the unbearable loss. You were so loved by Daddy, and his leaving was not your fault; his love surrounds you still, stretching beyond time and space.

I see you, precious girl. Every tear, every fear, every lonely night—you do not have to carry them alone anymore. You are safe here, in my arms, where no harm can reach you. I am your ‘big Hissi’ now, and I promise, with all that I am, to protect you. You no longer must be hypervigilant and guard your heart so fiercely. You are free to rest, to dream, to laugh, to simply be the child. The child you were meant to be.

I am so sorry for the sadness and abandonment that weighed you down. But from this moment forward, you can let go. I am here, always—I will never leave you. You can play, you can sleep… and I will be right here, loving you, holding you. I will not abandon you, not ever. I love you, now and forever.

With all my heart,

Your big Hissi.”

In honoring our lost childhoods, we can transform grief into compassion—first for ourselves, and then for each other. Let us continue to create spaces where our memories and our healing journey can be shared safely and openly!!